Scary Thoughts

When I think about giving up the teaching profession, my next thought is, “What else can I do?” It’s scary to think that I may not be qualified for any other job because I trained for the educational field only. Even if I do find some other job, am I settling for something less than what I’m really qualified for?

There are so many paths. I don’t know which one is truly meant for me. Part of me is afraid of straying from what I already know and from what I’m already comfortable with, but how else will I really know what I’m capable of if I don’t try something new and get out of my comfort zone?

This job in Japan is not even official, yet the recruiter keeps emailing me. I guess that’s a positive sign. As much as I’m afraid of accepting a job in Japan—especially a teaching job, a part of me says that I need it because I need a new experience in a new environment, so I can have a new way of looking at things. What other way is there to face my fears head on than teaching in a foreign country? I know I can do that here in my own hometown, but everything is so familiar here that I am comfortable wherever I am (which encourages me to be lazy). It sounds all so existentialist, but at least in a foreign country, I can discover new things around me as well as find answers within myself about what I really can and cannot do. The teaching job in Japan would only be four months. That’s a short time, for which I’m grateful.

If every job I have can be put on a résumé, then every experience I have will always give me something new to discover about myself.