Wishful Thinking

In September of 2002, when I first started teaching, I was so stressed out that I would wish to get into a car accident while driving home, so I wouldn't have to go into work the next day. Then I did get into a car accident, and I suddenly regretted my wish because I wasn't stressed anymore.

That feeling--the one of wishing, not regretting--came back again last night while I was driving home.

As an experienced teacher, this is not a good sign.

Recently, I have found myself wishing that I could be a first year teacher again--but I quickly changed my mind. I didn't like the stress, I didn't like the ignorance, and I didn't like my newbie lesson plans. Instead, now I wish I was a second year teacher again. I'm more knowledgeable from the things I learned during my first year, and I wasn't as stressed. What I liked most about being a fledging teacher was being left alone to teach. That's what I miss: being with students.

All these leadership responsibilities get in the way of teaching. They get in the way of me and the students. They get in the way of a lot of things I would like to do. Not only that, colleagues who criticize and complain are worse than students. I feel my position as a department chair is obsolete. Basically, I'm getting paid to be the messenger who gets shot at repetitively. I'm not a leader, I'm a human shield for the department... and they're not even paying me enough for that.

Chicken or the Egg?

I'm a season behind, but it's nice to see David Duchovny back in witty form. I'm wondering if this show is good for him, given that he's going into rehab for sex addiction.