The talk of the school today was the boxing match between Oscar de la Hoya and Manny Pacquiao. The Mexicans were disappointed that De la Hoya lost, while the one Filipino student in class gloated with pride. During some down time, the Filipino student asked me if I watched the fight, and I told him that I didn't watch boxing or any type of sports. He informed me that Pacquiao was Filipino and that I should have watched it.
Inside, I was rolling my eyes. Really? Because I'm Filipino, I have to watch another Filipino person? For what? I hate it when my mother watches the Filipino Channel. My student said that I had to watch the fight in order "to represent" Filipino pride. I flat out told him, "I don't believe in representin'."
"You're whitewashed," he said with disgust.
"I know I am," I shot back with pride.
"You should be ashamed." He rubbed his index finger across his other index finger like a six year old.
"I'm not," I said with a smirk, and at that point, I had to bite my tongue before I said, "Fuck you, you little FOB. Don't tell me what I should be representin, don't tell me what I should be ashamed of, don't tell me what I should do and how I should think when it comes to representin Filipino culture. I know I'm whitewashed, and I'm not ashamed--so don't tell me what to do or how to feel pride. You know who should be ashamed? You should. Your parents left the Philippines. You should be ashamed for not adopting your new home country. You should be ashamed for not representin America. If you have so much love and pride for the Philippines, then go back there. Why do you think I said NO to advising your Filipino Club?"
It is because I am a teacher that I'm not allowed to spew personal diatribes. I do not represent Filipino pride because let's get one thing straight: I never had any. When it comes to representin', it's all about me and my ideas and my beliefs and my individuality. Collective cultural pride does not mean anything to me.
2 comments:
The fight was a good one -- we watched it at K's parents'. I was rooting for Pacman myself.
It must be hard reconciling the little snots a lot of these kids still are at this age with their potentiality. Do you find it hard to come to a balance in remembering these are kids with immature/developing opinions (not quite well-reasoned) versus the want to treat them with a measure of respect in order to continue developing their intellect?
That must be one of the toughest tight-rope walks ever...
Yeah, I do wish there was a quick way to shake the balkanization tendency out of ethnic/minority students in school. You'd think it would leave when they're no longer minorities on campus, but I guess not.
Everyday I walk that tight-rope: whenever I have a moment that I want to rant and rave, I have to remember that they are young, they have radical ideas, and they have limited experiences. I stop myself from ranting because personal experience will be a greater teacher for them. I can crash their world now--which would only lead to arguments; or let them crash themselves. My sadistic side wants to see them crash and burn on their own.
There are some who want to argue maturely, and I welcome the dialogue. But if there is a flaw in their logic, that is when I treat them like developing adults and make them see the irrationality of their thinking. That's two lessons at one time: exchanging ideas in order to strengthen their own.
I think in our generation, we were brought up with the "melting pot" philosophy of culture, where everyone blends together and then redefines what they are; whereas this generation is brought up with a "salad bowl" philosophy: every ingredient is still an individual element of itself. Tomatoes are tomatoes, Filipinos are Filipinos. Clearly, there is segregation under the flag of "cultural pride."
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