Thursday, April 30, 2009

Bad as Twilight

While cleaning up some notebooks in my home office, I came upon a black binder with lots of organized paper. I thought it was an old college reader with articles of educational importance. But upon opening this notebook, I found an old "novel" I had written when I was in high school.

I have to confess: I was into that whole vampire thing during my junior year, but my nocturnal fix was satiated by the great Anne Rice and the original Bram Stoker. I loved the mythology that they created to give their vampires a believable human quality: morality and love. There is a beautiful irony about an evil creature who can be moral. People are like that, too: evil by nature because we are selfish, but trying so hard to be good and resist the temptation to engage in selfish acts. That was the fascination I had with vampires: their reflection on humanity, when they themselves are not considered human.

As I read my old high school novella, I cringe at the vampire I created, a dark creature wallowing in grief and guilt over sins she commits. It's so emo that I'm ashamed to say that I wrote this crap. I was no Anne Rice or Bram Stoker. At age seventeen, my writing was comparable to Stephanie Meyer. Yes... my writing was that bad.

The philosophical irony that I tried to embody only eluded me. I really should rewrite this novel. After a decade, I think my writing has obviously matured. And I know I can do better: I'm older and wiser, and I've seen much more of this irony that humans have.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

The End

The school year is not officially over, but I can officially say that this has been the worst year ever. I'm ready for it to end already, and June cannot come soon enough.

As I run through the events that defined this school year from the rest, I dread that I have to be here again for the next school year. I become more desperate to leave Riverside and go back home to San Diego. Another year of ghetto fabulous students and lifestyle.

The countdown begins. I need the summer to rejuvenate... badly.

Friday, April 03, 2009

It's All In the Timing

My taxes were completed yesterday. It's one of those years when I have to pay up to the government. *sigh*

As the accountant did my taxes, she informed me of this "great opportunity" if I am in the market to buy a house. Instantly, I began to daydream of owning a small piece of property, back in my hometown of San Diego... maybe in a suburban area similar to where I grew up; or maybe some place far from my parents, like Mira Mesa or further north. Oh, the possibilities...

But, alas... my occupation is inextricably linked to the state budget. And with teachers being laid off, now is just not a good time for me to think about looking for a new position in my hometown of the now unattainable San Diego county. Houses abound, but teaching jobs aren't.

Damn the economy. My dreams are that much further away from me.