A Sad Commentary About Men and Me

I went to a wedding this weekend, and all I did was dance with a couple of gay guys and got hit on by the father-in-law of the bride.

Am I lucky or what?

*rolls eyes*

I Hate Him, Too

I share my classroom with a teacher who has no classroom management skills whatsoever. I can see it by the way the students ignore him, and when he sometimes ignores them. From what other teachers have said, he tries hard to be cool with the students. He lets his kids get away with too much shit.

And my classroom is constantly a mess when I get there after sixth period. There's gum on the white board or in the tracks of the white board; trash on the floor, books left over, candy wrappers and lollipop sticks stuck to the carpet, minor graffiti on the desks... That's just the small stuff. Last Friday was over the top--graffiti on my posters, stolen pins from the walls, so my posters were crooked, a ghetto drawing of Mexican flag higher than the American flag (I think not!), stolen supplies from drawers, and missing books.

I want to bitch and rant at him because this has been going on since September 2005. I've talked to the teacher before to watch his kids, but nothing has been done. In fact, only more books have gone missing since then. Of all things, why do they steal the books? They don't fucking read them!!! How do I know that? Because they leave their own books in my classroom, stashing it in corners, like it was their own private hideaway locker. Why did they steal my CDs? They can't understand Swedish or Japanese rock music? When I mentioned this to the teacher, all he said was, "Sure... I'll talk to them." He said that with such conviction as he nodded his head with a nonchalant yet timid look; I don't fucking believe him at all. He's worse than the Tick. I heard that the principal is going to make a special visit to his classroom to lecture his students. That's just bad. If the principal has to come in to discipline the students, that just shows that the teacher can't do it or is just plain weak.

I hate him. I want my books back, I want my CDs back, I want my stolen goods back, and I hope he doesn't come back next year.

Kill the Television

I can't resist TV. I don't watch it, but when I do, I'm glued to the couch and a day could be wasted. I don't know why I can't just turn it off... there are so many interesting things to watch. It's probably because I resist it all week when I'm not working that it catches up to me when the weekends arrive.

Should I get rid of the cable?

But if I did, I'll never watch educational things on the History or Discovery Channel ever again... or tear-jerkers on the Hallmark Channel. Damn...

Trust Is Not Unconditional

I have instilled the fear of God in my students. My afternoon classes were in fear for their lives after they heard what had happened in my morning classes. I take comfort in that, that they can still be afraid and learn something from this.

The site is down. That is all I wanted. Things are better, but that doesn't change the fact that it still happened. I think they know better now; they know their roles.

Many of them have voiced their concerns that "said-student" crossed the line, and I think they have learned not to mess with a teacher's or anyone's personal life. If they didn't learn that, then they've learned the value of trust and how it will never be the same once it is severed.

Sometimes I think it is my own fault: I'm too friendly or comfortable with the students. Was I gullible in trusting them? I believe in a respectable teacher-student relationship, but I've always known my role and kept a distance. They've opened themselves up to me, and I've shared things (mostly knowledge and advice and experience) with them. But my private life is still my own.

Maybe next year I have to define my boundaries more. As a professor explained once, there is a difference between being friendly and being a friend. Adults and professionals know where the lines are drawn, but teenagers and adolescents can't distinguish the difference. It's virtually the same and so everything is fair game.

My students just learned the difference yesterday. I hope they'll remember it. (And if they don't, I hope karma bites them in the ass!)

I Hate My Sophomores!

I fucking hate my sophomores now. One of them created a fake website about me over the weekend, and I got wind of it today. Although the site is bare, they put up sensitive info nonetheless: my last name and the school name of where I teach. That's too much information. Not only that, they gave it a title that has a negative connotation.

Fuck them all. I know that only one teenager was responsible for it, but since the majority of teenagers that I teach have a website, they all know who created the site, and they are not going to tell on each other.

My privacy has been violated. I don't trust my sophomores anymore. Life for them is hell from here on out.